


I Didn't Mean To Want You

by softmorts



Series: All I Need [1]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Ace!Barry, Asexual!Barry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-15 11:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2226969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softmorts/pseuds/softmorts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry's not generally interested in people in... THAT sense. So why does he like his roommate so much?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Don't Love Him; He's Just A Really Good Friend

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is kind of a take on the feelings I had for someone once. A retelling, if you will, except that the person never knew, nor will they. They also never flirted/had intentional physical contact with me either. It's probably useful to know that no, that person was not a 34-year-old man-child who writes songs with a ninja about... dicks.
> 
> And yes, I am asexual, which is why Barry is in this fic's headcanon -- mainly because I generally find it easier to tell it from that perspective.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't feel anything for Dan. All he feels is that they're really good friends. That's his story, and he's sticking to it.

    Barry isn't really into guys, or people in general. Sure, he's been in relationships before, but it's always felt more like he's attached to the person than attracted to them. Nevertheless, it's never really worked out well for him, and as he loses himself in his work he wonders if that's to blame for the fact that he's starting to get funny skips in his stomach every time Dan looks his way. Of course, there's no reason why he should be feeling like this, because he knows that the day Dan is into a guy - let alone  _him_ \- is the day that Hell freezes over, Suzy stops liking makeup, and Dan's hair becomes straight and manageable.

    A hand on his shoulder makes him jump. "Hey Bar, whatcha doin'?" The subject of his thoughts grins down at him, and Barry is startled; it takes him a moment before he can force out a "nothing, just editing Game Grumps!" and shoot the other man a quick smile before going back to work (or trying to make it look that way).

    "You're a really cool guy, you know that?" Dan's hand still hasn't left his shoulder, and the skin there is tingling; it only gets worse when the hand squeezes. "Like, I'm serious, man. You work so fuckin' hard. I don't think I could do that. I don't know if anyone other than you could do that. Like, I super respect you Bar, I'm serious, I don't think any of us show our appreciation enough."

    "Are you drunk or high?" Barry jokes, trying to hide the flush he feels creeping up his neck, the butterflies attempting to batter their way out of his stomach (although at this point, at the rate they're going, it feels more like hundreds of tiny moths).

    "Boooth, brah..." Dan slurs, eyelids drooping, lopsided smile turned on full force as he stumbles and falls into Barry, wrapping his arms loosely around the poor man's neck, nuzzling into his jaw. "I love youuuu, maaann..."

    "Oh god, stop it, you maniac!" Barry laughs at him.

    "But Baahhrrieee, I llloovvveeeee yoouuu~" He throws a leg over Barry's lap (after Barry has quickly pushed the laptop away, because if Dan breaks it and loses the past fifteen hours of work he's been doing, it might not be possible for the editor to stop himself from cutting Dan's hair when he sleeps as punishment) and straddles him, sloppily kissing his neck.

    "Daniel, oh my god, I'm serious. If you don't get off me now I will tell everyone you have chlamydia."

    Dan clambers off and plops down beside him, a surprised and slightly offended expression decorating his rather flushed face. "I-I can't believe you would do that, Barry. I thought our marriage meant something to you."

    It's a relief to Barry to know that Dan's joking, that he isn't actually upset. He doesn't think he could bear to see that; sad Dan is infinitely worse for him than sad Ross, and that's bad enough.

    "I am so sorry Daniel, I thought you knew. It was all a ruse to get your life insurance."

    There's silence for a moment before they catch each other's eyes and start laughing uncontrollably.

    It's hilarious, it's a funny joke, everything's fine and everyone's laughing, hahah...

    Barry keeps telling himself that.

    He just wishes it didn't hurt so much to lie.


	2. Why Do I Lie To Myself?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry figures some things out, and Dan makes a decision.

    Barry groans and throws himself on to his bed, hands clapped over his aching eyes. His back hurts from having been editing for eighteen hours, and he's pretty sure he shouldn't have been working for that long, but... whatever.

    He lays there, letting his thoughts drift, until he reaches the part where Dan's practically  _licking_ his neck, and he groans again.

     _Why Barry? Why Dan? Why_   ** _now_** _?_

It's clear the older man is definitely attractive, and fuck if he doesn't have a great singing voice, but those aren't really things that have ever affected Barry. It isn't helping, though, that Dan's also super friendly, he's kind, and he's just an awesome guy in general. An awesome guy, that is, who is about as not into dudes as anyone ever could be.

    Barry makes sure to remind himself of this constantly. Just in case.

    He feels his eyes droop shut, the ache in his back dulling slightly, as he slowly drifts off to sleep.

***

**Knock. Knock.**

_What?_

**Knockknockknockknock.**

_Ugh._

    The sound of someone rapping on his bedroom door wakes Barry, and he slowly eases himself up off the bed -  _oh God, how can anyone's back hurt this much?!_ \- and mumbles out an "I'm comin', I'm comin'!" before grabbing the handle and pulling it open. There stands Dan, hair falling over his face, a mug of coffee and a plate of scrambled eggs on toast (pretty much all he can cook without burning) in his hands, looking at Barry with an expression of utmost concern as the latter leans against the doorframe for support.

    "Are you okay, man? You look like shit."

    Barry raises an eyebrow. "Thanks Dan, you really know how to make a guy feel good about himself."

    "Shut up," Dan shoots back, "and go sit down on the couch. I've called Arin, and I'm not going over today. We've got enough material for a couple weeks and you've been working way too hard recently."

    "But Dan, I need to-"

    " _Shut up_ , and let me finish!" Dan interrupts him, shaking his head in disbelief. "Anyway, like I was saying, you were working for almost a full day yesterday, you haven't been sleeping - don't give me that look, Barry, I know you're still up at 4AM most nights - and it's about time you gave yourself a break. So I called Arin, and you're gonna sit that fine ass of yours down right now, and I'm gonna get some blankets, and then we're gonna have our coffee and breakfast and watch Netflix all day."

    Barry just stares, mouth opened, not believing what he's hearing, but he knows there's no use in arguing. So he just nods, dumbfounded, and sits on the couch, while Dan goes off to get blankets. He takes a sip of the coffee and moans.  _It's so damn good_. Dan stumbles back in, his quilt held up to his eyes, and waits for Barry to set his coffee down before plopping down and throwing it over the both of them, grinning at his roommate.

    He grins back, leaning forward to get his breakfast after having tucked the quilt up around himself. It's massive (although it  _is_ from Dan's super-sized bed, so what's to be expected?) and, what's more, it smells of pure Dan. What a treat.

    The first bite of perfectly-cooked scrambled eggs and not-burnt-this-time toast draws another moan from him as Dan searches for a movie to watch. The curly-haired man looks over at him, a smile lighting up his eyes.

    "Is it that good?" he asks, amusement clear in his voice as he raises an eyebrow at Barry, who looks at him incredulously.

    "Are you serious? This is amazing. This, the movie - it was really nice of you to do this for me."

    "Well, I'm just showing my appreciation for an amazing editor and friend." Dan turns his attention back to the TV, finally settling on The Last Unicorn (which Barry can't help but grin at).

    "No but honestly, this coffee... It's just what I needed. I think I could honestly kiss you right now, Dan." Despite the slight pang of nervousness he feels at saying that, he nudges Dan playfully and takes a sip of the hot beverage.

    "Then why don't you?" Dan elbows him back, and Barry coughs out a laugh, returning to his breakfast.

    It's just a shame that Barry's too absorbed in the food to glance up and see the flash of heat that appears in Dan's eyes when he says that.


	3. Maybe You're All I Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it'll all work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are lucky you're getting this, for two reasons:
> 
> One - School. I started this week and it's wrecked me.
> 
> Two - I have hypermobility and stuff, so my joints dislocate sometimes, but I really wrenched my shoulder out this morning and I'm still getting pains, so I probably shouldn't be typing but fuck it, eh?
> 
> Anywhoo, this is the last chapter, so enjoy reading it! It's been fun.

    Two movies and the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy later, Barry drifts off to sleep on top of Dan, head resting on the older one's shoulder. The last thing he remembers as he lets himself go is Dan shifting, pulling him on top of his chest, and pulling the blankets over them both. He smiles sleepily. This feels right. It feels how it should be.

***

     _"Barry. Hey, Bar. Wake up. Barry."_

He awakes to the sound of his name being gently repeated, a light hand shaking his shoulder. He stirs, groaning and stretching upwards, wondering where the heat underneath him is coming fro- oh, it's Dan. Wait. It's  _Dan_. Why are they... What happened?

    He remembers the movie marathon, remembers falling asleep on top of the other man, and jolts upwards, an apology already forming upon his lips. "Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

    "No, shh, it's okay you idiot," Dan smiles fondly down at him, rubbing his back. "You drifted off to sleep, and I pulled us down like this so you wouldn't break your back - or mine, for that matter."

    Barry nods. "Oh. I thought... okay. Why'd you wake me?"

    "Sorry, man," Dan shrugs. "I need a piss, badly."

    Barry scrambles up, letting Dan get off the couch, and pulls the blankets around himself. They smell of Dan; it's a pleasant aroma - coffee and Skittles, mixed with Dan's own scent. He lays there and considers things for a few moments, not hearing the bathroom door open. Dan pads in and lifts the blankets, pushing Barry back down when he tries to get up, and crawling on top of him, head resting on his chest. Suddenly, breathing is difficult and requires immense concentration.

    "You okay?" Dan whispers.

    Why is he whispering? They're alone. Why is he on top of him?

    Barry nods, swallowing hard; it doesn't go unnoticed. Dan stares at him for a few moments, eyes flicking from Barry's own to his lips, before he moves his head up slightly, as if awaiting persmission for... something. Dan's face suddenly gets closer, breath reaching for Barry's lips, noses touching, and--

    Dan kisses him.

    It's just a short press of their lips at first, Dan pulling back and searching Barry's eyes for something that might not be there. Barry nods, brow furrowed slightly, he nods and pulls Dan back in with a hand pressed to his jaw.

    It's warm, and wet, and everything it should be, because Dan's kissing him and Dan knows how he feels and Dan feels the same way (maybe?) and it's all going to be okay because Dan  _knows_ and he isn't upset about it.

    He pulls away. "Y'know, Dan... I've wanted to do this for a long time."

    Dan grins. "Really?"

    "Yeah. I mean... I didn't mean to want you, y'know, it wasn't intentional, but I'm so, so glad I do."

    Dan just shakes his head. "You're such a dork," he mumbles into Barry's ear, before pressing in and kissing him again, slowly this time, tongues lazily exploring each other's mouths.

    Barry thought he fell in love with someone he'd never have a chance with.

    He thought it would be something to repress, just another item on the list of regrets.

    He never thought his feelings would be returned.

    And now, for the first time since he started to love Dan, since he allowed himself to open his heart for him, he thinks it might be okay.


End file.
